Moe's Meats

Moe has Left the Building

After more than 15.5 years on earth, the last 11+ of which as Founder and CEO of Moe’s Meats and Bones, LLC, Satchel “Moe” Wheaton Jarecki has left the mortal plane, en route to his next cosmic venture and adventure. Moe leaves behind a legacy of mirth, merriment…and meat. 

Said Moe during his exit interview: “I don’t want my customers to mourn me. Instead, I want them to continue to celebrate a legacy of meat by feeding their pets the best products available, and by choosing CBD to provide rest, respite, and relief when in need.

Moe’s departure will not affect our business operations in any way. In fact, shortly before signing off, Moe handed the keys to the company to Nigel, his former ops guy, who now assumes the title of Chief Operating Officer. 

Per Moe: 

It’s not all that much different than Steve Jobs handing things over to Tim Cook. Boring, yes….but effective. We’ll have another Ridgeback running things. For now…a tuxedo cat is what we need.” 

Nigel, who’s still learning the English language, had this to say: “I’m meow-very meow-excited to meow-carry meow-Moe’s legacy meow-forward.” 

Moe also made clear that his roommate (aka “Roommate”) will continue to serve as the family Kardashian, and promote his outdoor product lines on social media. Said Moe: 

My roommate….yeah….that’s her. Isn’t she cute?!

In lieu of flowers, Moe invites you to write a Google review about how much you enjoy our quirky little business–and how much your pets enjoy the benefits of a raw diet and CBD products at affordable prices. 

With much love and appreciation, Moe thanks you for a decade-plus of friendship and loyalty. True to the end, he only ever sold what he himself ate–and we’ll continue to honor his commitment. 

His final meal: bone broth, duck neck, chicken foot, and Columbia River beef and heart.

Shortly before signing off, he enjoyed a CBD topical rub, along with a few drops to lick. 

Thank you all so much!

Moe’s Crew